Second Hand Hearts
by totti10
Summary: A Riain fic - my take on how, despite both their insecurities, Rita and Iain's relationship might have been developing behind the scenes. Includes Dixie's friendship with the pair. My first fanfic, I know it's quite fluffy but I felt that the thoughts of these two longstanding characters deserved to be explored. I've actually really enjoyed writing it and welcome your reviews x
1. Chapter 1

Rita looked thoughtfully up at the trees that she trudged past on her walk to work. By rights she should have been skipping along this morning. It was going to be one of those gorgeous autumn days, she was early enough to enjoy a leisurely coffee before her shift having woken before her alarm for once and she'd just had the best night's sleep in weeks. Her stomach flipped and she allowed herself a little smile as she thought about what - or who - had been keeping her awake the rest of time recently. Her relationship with Iain had started over a month ago now and they continued to be unable to keep their hands off each other. She inhaled a shuddering breath as she thought about him: his lips, his touch and the way he could practically undress her with one look from those lust-filled dark green eyes...

 _C'mon Freeman get a grip, you're not a teenager anymore_. She sighed as she realised she should probably stop him being such a distraction at work. It was only a matter of time before they got caught by a colleague, or that her mind wandering to thoughts of his athletic body would cause her a lapse in judgement with a patient. She resolved to be more professional going forward, she'd be crazy to jeopardise all the work she'd put in to get to this stage in her nursing career. The intensity of the physical attraction between them couldn't last forever anyway she reasoned with herself. That said she was damn sure she was going to enjoy it while it lasted. She deserved that much. They just needed to keep it to the bedroom or... well, away from work at the very least. Rita grinned again as she recalled how they didn't even make it out of her hallway the night they first got together.

"Well that's sorted then, I just need to be more professional" she announced out loud trying to sound as convinced as possible that her problem was solved. She dropped her shoulders as she realised that the nagging feeling in bottom of stomach was still there. Chewing on her lip Rita tried to think about exactly what was bothering her.

"At least I don't talk to myself when I walk in with Iain" she said out loud again and stopped suddenly as she approached the doors to the ED. It couldn't be that she was actually missing him this morning could it? She thought back to the moment she woke up. Expecting to be pleased to have the bed to herself and her duvet on top of her for once, she recalled how strange it had been not to be greeted by the sight of his tousled brown hair at the top of a tangle of long limbs and bedding. And who would have thought she would have noticed how much nicer it is when someone else brings you a cup of tea in the morning…

"Blimey, you'll be wanting flowers and candlelight next" she chastised herself.

"Lovely offer Nurse Freeman but not tonight - I'm washing Matilda's hair!" Rita snapped back out of her thoughts and blushed as she realised Cal was holding the door open for her.

"Oh Cal, hi, I was just…" she mumbled to the young doctor.

"Talking to yourself? First sign of madness" he winked at her cheekily.

"Humm, I think I _am_ going mad" she said shaking her head as she headed towards the staffroom to start her day.


	2. Chapter 2

"Rita! what do you think?"

"Sorry, what Robyn?" Rita looked across the bed at the young nurse who was staring expectantly up at her. Between them they were getting a woman ready to go up to the wards. She had been brought in after collapsing at work and now needed an overnight stay under observation.

"Anna has lost an earring so I thought it might be worth checking with the Dixie and Iain"

"Oh. I didn't know it was those two who brought her in" she furrowed her brow realising that she must have been in her office when that happened.

"Yeah it was definitely Iain cos he seemed to hang around for ages, I couldn't get rid of him. Maybe he, y'know…?" Robyn smiled, raised her eyebrows and gestured her head, not very subtly, towards the attractive 20-something woman that they were treating.

"Yes, thank you Robyn" said Rita a little too quickly, causing the normally cheerful red head to look momentarily a little hurt.

"I've a good mind to call the police, I bet one of those paramedics has stolen it!" interrupted Anna. She seemed impatient that she wasn't being taken seriously "It's a Tiffany diamond earring you know"

Rita peered at the lone heart-shaped item in the woman's hand and slipped immediately back into empathetic nurse mode.

"There's really no need for that Anna, I don't think it would suit either of them" she smiled sweetly "I'll tell you what, I'll go over and ask them now. See what I can do OK?"

"I don't mind going" said Robyn eagerly.

"No, no it's fine Robyn thanks.. I.. err… need to go over there anyway…" her voice trailed off.

"O. Kay" said Robyn slowly, narrowing her eyes as she took in the slight reddening of Rita's cheeks "You're the boss! See you in a bit..."

Rita grimaced, grabbed her hoody from the staffroom and set off for the ambulance station, cursing herself silently that she already had two colleagues this morning who thought she was losing the plot.

Dixie was stood by one of the ambulances when Rita arrived at the depot.

"Hi lovely. What brings you over here?" she shouted loudly, then dropping her voice as Rita approached "Like I even need to ask, hey?" Rita felt the colour returning to her cheeks again. Apart from Zoe, who'd been off on holiday for a couple of weeks, Dixie was the only one at work who knew about her and Iain. Rita had been very grateful that she'd not made too a big deal of it, though she suspected Iain would have been getting more of a ribbing from her.

"Actually I came to see if you might have found a missing earring. Anna Davies, the woman you brought in earlier?"

"I haven't love no, just finished cleaning out the back 'n' all, sorry. Iain might have noticed if she was wearing it when we picked her up? Then again he is a bloke… I'll ask him when he gets back"

"Oh" the younger woman felt her shoulders drop again "He's not here?"

"No sorry sweetheart he's doing a patient transfer to St James" The blonde paramedic peered at her friend "Thought you'd be all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed after a good night's kip last night. Is everything alright?'

"Yeah, no, I dunno" shrugged Rita pushing her hands down into her pockets and looking down at her feet.

"Sorry. I don't mean to be nosey. He told me you wanted a night to yourself last night that's all. I only got it out of him cos he was driving me mad with his sad puppy dog eyes after he'd read your text. Jeez - I get enough of that from Little Abs at home! He cheered up when his mate invited him down the pub though"

"Oh. Right that's cool then. Glad he had a good night."

'Rita. You know he really cares about you don't you? I mean, I know he can be a bit of a plonker at times but from where I'm standing that much is obvious and..."

"And what?"

"Well just that you deserve to be happy. You do know that don't you?"

Rita shifted her weight uneasily from foot to foot.

"Come here silly" said Dixie holding her arms out wide. The pair shared a warm embrace. Rita relaxed and sighed audibly prompting Dixie to plant a little kiss on the side of her head. "Hey if you've got your break in a bit come and find me and we'll have a proper catch up over a brew. I'm sure the people of Holby can stay out of trouble for that long" she joked.

Releasing her arms from round Dixie's waist Rita turned away quickly so that her friend wouldn't see the tears that had started to well up in her eyes. "Twenty minutes' she called over her shoulder, grateful that her voice remained steady.

Dixie watched thoughtfully as the blonde nurse hurried her way back over to the hospital.


	3. Chapter 3

**~~~ Author's note: quite a lot of dialogue in this chapter, but thought that felt very representative of Iain and Dixie. Hope it reads OK. Let me know with a review :-) ~~~**

* * *

"Who was that?" Dixie called over from the sofa in the station kitchen as Iain got off the phone.

"Oh just my mate planning beers tonight" the dark haired paramedic replied.

"And how did he take being blown out for a hot blonde nurse?" Dixie asked smiling

"Err.. he didn't. I'm going." Iain avoided looking at his colleague as he spoke

"I see. This the same guy you were out with last night?"

"Yeah, his wife's chucked him out, he's feeling a bit down"

"And how come she chucked him out? Let me guess, spending too much time down the pub?" She asked raising her eyebrow at her colleague. When he didn't reply she continued "I thought you were seeing Rita tonight anyway?"

"Oh she'll be alright, didn't want to see me last night did she? I'll probably head over to hers after t'pub if I feel like it. What? Don't look at me like that!"

"Last of the old romantics you aren't you pal?"

"Rita's not interested in romance"

"Oh right she told you that did she?"

"She did actually" said Iain growing more uncomfortable at where this conversation was heading

"Since you've been 'together'?" Dixie made a play of bending two fingers on both hands when she said the word 'together'

"Well no but…"

"Don't mess her about Iain"

"I'm not messing her about" said Iain irritably "I don't think she's that bothered, we're just having fun" he protested.

"C'mon mate, I know you like her, you can't keep your eyes off her. As for that goofy look you've always got on yer mush..."

"Yep, like you said, she's hot"

Dixie let out an exasperated sigh.

"Look as much as I really don't wanna think about it, I don't doubt you've got a bit of talent between the sheets, mate. Bleurgh!" She mock-wretched and continued "God knows, the way you talk you've had enough ruddy practice!"

"What can I say, I've never had any complaints" Iain grinned cheekily.

"Well, without wanting to make your head any bigger than it already is, you do know that there's a bit more to you than that don't you?" Dixie fixed her gaze on Iain trying to read how he was receiving what she was saying.

"I don't follow" said Iain quietly.

Dixie rolled her eyes.

"Iain, you're kind, caring, one of the most loyal friends I've ever had and I suppose you're quite funny… " She stopped realising Iain was now looking a little embarrassed "looking" she finished, giving him a sarcastic smile.

"A ha ha. Dix mate, I didn't know you cared" he said playfully punching her in the arm.

"I'm being serious and look, this is Rita we're talking about. You've known each other for years. You're not telling me she's just another notch on your bedpost?"

"So what you saying?" he asked slowly, rubbing the stubble on his chin and suddenly not looking quite so sure of himself.

"It's like you said Iain: only regret the things you don't do. Life's too short. I should know" She swallowed and looked over at the picture of Jeff that was still pinned up on the noticeboard. Iain followed her gaze and stepped over to put his arm round her.

"Come on Auntie Dix," he said squeezing her shoulder gently "What say I make you a brew?"

Dixie's phone buzzed on the table in front of her as Iain turned away. She smiled, looked over at Iain heading towards the kettle and tapped out a speedy reply "Still here x"

"Actually mate, do you mind cleaning up that coffee you spilled in the front of the ambo this morning? I'll put the kettle on?"

He groaned and walked over to pick up the bucket of cleaning materials off the side.

"Whatever you say boss"

Dixie watched him head over to the ambulance from the kitchen door and shook her head as she thought about her two friends.


	4. Chapter 4

**~~~ Author's note: hope you're enjoying reading this. Please, please leave a review - good or bad - even if you have never left one before. It's my 1st attempt at a fanfic (or any writing for a while) so it will really help me going forward - I'd love to write others... :-) Thanks! ~~~**

* * *

"Hey love" Dixie wandered across the forecourt to meet the blonde nurse as she appeared in the entrance.

"Still on for that cuppa then? Rita asked of the paramedic though her eyes were looking beyond her, scanning the rest of the station and taking in how deserted it was.

"Sure thing" replied Dixie "Actually could you do me a favour Reet? Hop in the back of that ambo and have another look for that earring could you? Spoke to Iain on the radio and he said he did remember her fiddling with them while he was with her in the back. I'm a bit old for crawling around looking under the seats. I reckon you're a bit more flexible. At least - that's what I've been hearing" she said mischievously.

Rita looked at her friend with mock indignation as Dixie prodded her playfully in the ribs.

"Go on then, you put the kettle on' she said pulling her petite frame up into the back of the ambulance.

"Shit!" She jumped with fright as Iain's head appeared from between the front seats where he was cleaning.

"Dixie, what the… Rita?" Iain was cut off in mid-sentence by his boss who was standing grinning at the back doors.

"Right you two, sorry. I love you both but you're driving me mad. I'm locking these doors and I'm not opening them again until you've talked some flippin' sense into each other. And no funny business please. I've wiped down in teh back of there once already this morning!"

The senior paramedic gave the pair satisfied smile and slammed the doors shut. Two electronic beeps of the remote locking system reinforcing the point that they were stuck there together for as long as Dixie saw fit.

"All righty then" said Rita slowly as her eyes flicked around the inside of the ambulance. She lowered herself into the cushioned red seat and looked up at Iain. "You staying up there?"

"Just a sec" Iain peeled off the gloves he was wearing and wiped his hands on a cloth. Grabbing the back of the two seats he attempted to clear the space between them but stumbled as his foot caught on the seat belt fixing.

"Fu-u-uck!" Before Rita knew it, Iain, somehow managing a roll to break his fall, ended up full length along the floor of the ambulance, with his head propped up by his arms, right at her feet.

"Ooh. Hello!" said Rita, tilting her head to the side and smiling down at him "Smooth"

"Yeah not quite how I planned it... Oh hang about..." He reached forward to Rita's calves pushing them slightly apart.

"Iain, what are you..." Rita started, the paramedic looking up at her smiling while he pushed his hand between her ankles

"Bingo!" Iain withdrew his arm and held something up between his thumb and forefinger. Rita chuckled.

"Iain Dean falls at my feet holding a diamond. I'm not sure I was expecting that!"

"Funny" said Iain sarcastically. He closed his fingers around the earring and pushed himself up into a sitting position. Back against the side of the ambulance, he rested his forearms on his bent knees and looked across at the nurse. Rita's smile faded as she recalled finding Iain in the same position in the ED staffroom just a few weeks earlier. She let out a small sigh and chewed her bottom lip anxiously. Iain slipped the earring into his shirt pocket.

"So Dixie reckons we need to talk?' He had been mulling over his colleague's words as he cleaned but now searched Rita's face for clues as to what exactly would be the right thing to say next.

Rita was first to break the gaze looking down at her hands resting in her lap. She picked at one of her nails nervously.

"I didn't like it" she said in a small voice, still not looking at Iain.

"Didn't like what?" His voice was a mixture of worry and concern.

"I didn't like not being with you last night, this morning... whatever"

"Right" said Iain still confused, "And that's a problem because...?"

"Erm. Well y'know, it's all a bit of a fine balance isn't it when you're having fun and then something gets in the way of it being fun and…"

"And you don't want anything more than a bit of fun?" Iain finished slowly

"Oh you know me" Rita started as breezily as she could muster, still unable to meet Iain's gaze. "It's Rita Freeman against the world. That's what I'm best at. And obviously work is really important and well when…" her voice trailed off.

 _Dixie was right_ he reminded himself.

"I must be mad. Most blokes would recognise a brush off when they hear one" he said then inhaled deeply. _No regrets..._

"It's probably for the best if we…" began the blonde nurse.

"Rita." Iain interrupted. "I think you're amazing"


	5. Chapter 5

**~~~ Author's note: last chapter - hope you enjoy Leave a review either way! Thanks A x ~~~**

* * *

A silence descended between the pair as they absorbed what had just been said. Rita allowed herself to look back into Iain's eyes for the first time. He pushed himself to his knees moving closer to where she sat, their heads level.

"These last few weeks have blown me away Rita. I've been kidding myself that it's all been just a bit of fun but… I dunno… we could both keep telling ourselves that we're not really meant to be with anyone or… Or we could just take a chance that we could be really good together" Iain placed his hands gently on Rita's knees and when she did nothing to discourage him, continued. "We **are** good together" Pushing her legs apart so he could move closer to her he ran his hands further up her body until they were encircling her hips. Iain paused with his lips inches from hers, "Rita?"

Rita's breath caught in her chest, she felt the prick of tears start to sting her eyes and closed them. "Oh God Iain I want to but I can't. I'll fuck it up. I push people away who get close to me. That's what I do. When I trust people, I get hurt, they get hurt." She dropped her forehead onto his shoulder. "You are seriously better off just not getting involved"

Iain brought his hand gently to the side of her head and breathed in the smell of her hair. He pushed her shoulders back so he could look her in the face.

"Would you just let me be the judge of that?" he said softly. Bringing his hands to her cheeks he moved a strand of her blonde hair away with his thumb. He closed the gap between them and brushed her lips with his. Their breath quickened. Rita responded by wrapping her arms round his neck and deepening the kiss, Iain's arms now round her waist and pulling her into him. The nurse allowed herself to be swept along in the passion of the moment but it was her that pulled away first. She pushed herself back in the seat and put her head in her hands exhaling deeply.

"It's going to be OK Rita" Iain said slowly. "I know how badly you've been hurt in the past" Rita looked up, pain flashing across her face. "Dixie told me a bit about Mark, not… not everything but enough. You can tell me about it in your own time, if you want. Look I didn't know you well back then but I will never forget how you looked when we brought him in after that attack in the pub. I can't begin to imagine what you went through Rita. If I could go back to that day, put my arm round you and tell you that everything was going to work out OK I'd do it in a shot. If you need help with it, I want to be there, we can take it slowly and we can do it together"

Rita put her head back in her hands and started to sob. Iain pulled her into him wrapping his arms tightly round her back.

"Shush, it's ok. I know what it's like to feel broken, to feel like bad stuff's your fault, to need help. We've got a chance here Rita, no-one's lying this time, no one's cheating, nothing bad is going to happen. It's me and you. I know we can make each other happy. Rita, please?"

Rita's sobs slowly subsided and she nodded into his chest. She looked up, her eyes red and her cheeks wet with tears.

"I want that. I'm sorry…about all this"

Iain silenced her wordlessly by placing a finger lightly on her lips. He wiped away her tears with his thumbs and placed a kiss tenderly on her now dry cheek.

"In which case i'm going to start doing things properly" he began. Rita looked at him quizzically.

"I think it's about time I started showing you off - how about I take you out for dinner tonight" Rita's face brightened

"Really?"

"Really. My mate's brother is chef at that new restaurant in town everyone's raving about, I'll give him a call. We'd need to get our glad rags on though, whaddya reckon?"

"Sounds like I might need to wear a dress' said Rita happily, still blinking away tears that wet her long lashes.

"Ooh yes please!" Iain flashed his trademark smile "The thought of that should get me through the rest of my shift" He planted a full kiss on her lips and continued

"But for now, I think we need to say a little thank you to someone. After we've wound her up a bit. "

He jumped up and leant into the front of the ambulance, reaching to give a quick blast on the vehicle's siren. Through the window he saw Dixie appear at the staffroom door.

"Never seen her move so fast" he chuckled to himself.

The rear doors of the ambulance swung open and Dixie surveyed the scene in front of her. The body language didn't look good, that pair were about as far from each other as was possible and it was obvious that Rita had been crying. Her heart sank. What had she done?

"I'm guessing I don't need to buy a hat just yet then?" she ventured weakly.

"No but Rita does need to shave her legs" quipped Iain, beaming at his colleague.

Dixie ducked out of the way just in time to avoid the cloth that Iain threw at her but had no chance with what came next. Her two friends jumped down and grabbed her, practically bowling her over, steadying her as they encircled her with their arms. They both planted kisses on her cheeks.

"You're a legend Dixie' said Iain fondly, smiling at his work partner. "Hey, there _was_ a diamond involved though" he delved in his pocket, retrieving the earring and rolling it around between his fingers

"And if you don't mind me taking me break now I'll just go and escort my girlfriend here safely back to work to return it"

Rita glanced up at Dixie, biting her bottom lip to stop herself smiling too much.

"Yeah off you go. Aw, I'm made up for you, nearly ruddy killed me having to sit in the kitchen all that time." She flicked her eyes upwards and continued "I reckon Jeffrey was probably up there egging you on though. He'd have loved all this, the big softy"

Rita and Iain stopped, Rita reaching out and rubbing Dixie's arm before she gestured them both on their way.

The couple walked back to the ED in a comfortable silence, their hands entwined until Rita leant into Iain's side and he wrapped his arm protectively around her shoulder, both of them noting how perfectly their bodies fitted together in that position. Out of habit they detached themselves from each other as they passed through the main entrance. Rita smiled at the familiar scene that greeted her in reception. Ethan and Cal were deep in discussion with Noel about something while Louise and Robyn hovered as they waited to collect their next patients. Rita headed towards Robyn, Iain directly behind her.

"We found Anna's earring!" the senior nurse announced

"Ah. Nice one!" enthused Robyn then, raising her eyebrow "We?"

"Well Iain did…"

"Rita helped… err.. it was on the floor in the ambulance" The pair stumbled over their words and Rita could feel another blush rising in her cheeks. Robyn's eyes flicked between the pair of them, widening as she formed the next thought in her head.

Before Robyn said anymore, Iain spun Rita around to face him.

"Right you, I'd better get back. I'll pick you up at 7:30 tonight OK?" He placed his finger under her chin and tilted her face towards his. Leaning forward he placed a soft lingering kiss on her lips "See you later gorgeous"

Iain carried on smiling at her as he walked backwards towards the exit, taking in the looks from their colleagues before he turned on his heel and left.

"Oh my God! Lucky cow!" breathed Louise.

"Lucky bastard" Cal said to his brother

"Oh wow!" said Robyn, hugging her clipboard to her chest, her smile mirroring Ethan's.

Rita looked up at the ceiling, inhaling deeply. She bit her lip to contain her smile and headed off towards her office.


End file.
